


Death brings us closer, Young!Sirius Black x reader

by Lavander_hoe



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Harry Potter - Freeform, Sirius Black x reader - Freeform, The Marauder's Map, Young Sirius Black, ben barnes - Freeform, harry potter x reader, pre-harry potter, sirius black - Freeform, young sirius black x reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:47:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26915359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavander_hoe/pseuds/Lavander_hoe
Summary: Young!Sirius Black and reader begin to realise new feelings for one another following the deaths of Lily and James. Warning; Extreme Angst.
Relationships: Angst - Relationship, Sirius Black x Reader, Sirius Black/Reader, harry potter angst - Relationship, harry potter angst imagine, sirius black imagine - Relationship, young sirius black imagine, young sirius black x reader, young sirius black/reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	Death brings us closer, Young!Sirius Black x reader

**Author's Note:**

> It's possible that I may have some details incorrect about the Harry potter universe as I've never read the books! *Gasp*, I know lmao. Please don't give me hate if I get anything wrong. Thank you and enjoy!

A thorn pricked the delicate tip of her finger instantaneously drawing a single drop of crimson blood that raced down her palm. She tossed the white rose onto the coffin, it landed elegantly a top the smooth wooden furnishing. Although the rose had drawn blood from her finger it was nothing compared to the blood shed of her best friends.

Flashback;

“They’re dead.” Sirius whispered clenching his fists.

She fell to her knees, clawing at the shagged rug in despair. She hadn’t even realised she was screaming until much later.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………….

(Name) bought the cigarette to her lips with a trembling grip. A staggered breath emitted from her when she puffed the smoke out.

“You know smoking kills right?” Sirius teased appearing next to her.

“Death jokes at a funeral really?” She chided with a humorless laugh.

“Just trying to make it through today.” He sighed running a hand through his hair, a nervous habit of his.

“I know.” She nodded rubbing his arm.

“Can I nick one?” 

“I thought you were against it?”

“Today is different.”

It had been a week since the marauders had lost two of their best friends. A very hard and excrutiangly painful blow to the group. Sirius had stayed at (Name’s) flat since the night of the horrifying incident. They had remained by each other’s side every second of each day, companionship she was definitely glad for. Needless to say the days felt endless. She had barely slept, tossing and turning in bed. The severe lack of sleep was causing her to loose track of events in time, as days bled into each other.

She struck her lighter, sparks twinkling followed by a dancing flame. Sirius leant forward cigarette between lips, sucking air in as it was lit.  
His dark steeley eyes glancing up at her own, an emotion she couldn’t quite distinguish present in them. The intensity of his stare causing heat to flush (Name’s) face.

She cleared her throat pulling away from him. “How do you uh feel today?”

“The same as fucking yesterday.” Sirius admitted bringing the cigarette to his mouth.

“Amen to that.” She hummed. “It has to get easier at some point right?”

His shoulders slumped. “I-I don’t know.”

“Whatever does happen I’m always going to be there for you.” (Name) promised brow furrowed.

“Likewise.” Sirius responded attempting a smile.

She beamed weakly in return. ”Hey do you remember that thing Lily always used to say?”

He shook his head. “No what?”

“She said that as long as there are stars in the sky we’ll all always be connected no matter where we are.” A sad chuckle escaped her. “Back when the order stationed me in Denmark for few months last year, I would look at the stars from my hotel room whenever I missed you or the others.”

“Do you think they’re with the stars now?”

“I’d like to think so.”

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “Me too.” 

Taking a final draw from her cigarette she discarded it, snubbing it out with the bottom of her heel. “Come on let’s go say goodbye to Remus and Peter before we leave.” 

……………………………………………………………………………………………………..  
Sirius lay draped on the couch (Name’s) head resting on his lap, he tentatively stroked her hair. The concoction of red wine had left the pair dazed and lethargic. She tilted her head to cast a glance at her oldest friend. Despite his expressionless face, it was easy to observe the way he anxiously gnawed at his bottom lip. Those sinful plump lips, she had envisioned kissing many times. She admired the gentle sloped of his nose and the sharpness of his proud angled jawline.  
Good god he was entirely intoxicating.

“You’re staring.” Sirius muttered shifting his focus to the woman lying across him.

“No I wasn’t.” (Name) scoffed heart fluttering.

“It’s fine I like the attention.” He smirked.

“You’re such a dick.” She scoffed playfully rolling her eyes.

“You’re too kind.” He snorted. “You know I’ve noticed how often you look at me when you think I can’t see you doing it.”

“I don’t do that!” She exclaimed defensively.

She could tell he was enjoying this. “Oh yes you do! I’ve also noted how infuriated your face becomes when I flirt with other women.”

(Name) sprung up from his lap gawking at her friend with widened eyes. “I-I’ve never done that.” She stammered.

“So you’re telling me, if a gorgeous woman was here right now and I was chatting her up you wouldn’t be pissed off?”

“I couldn’t care less.”

“Even if she had her head in my lap and I was stroking her hair?”

“Nope”

“You sure about that?”

“Yup.”  
“Are you really?”

Maybe it was the amount of wine she’d consumed or the lack of sleep yet the words that left her next she never expected to confess. “For fucks sake of course I’d be pissed off alright? Is that what you want to hear?” A glare fixed upon her features. “Do you want me to tell you that the idea of you and someone else obviously hurts? Do you want me to tell you that you’re the first person I think of in the morning and the last person I think of at night? Do you want me to tell you that you're one of the best things in my life?”

An awkward silence hung between them, the air thick and muggy with tension. Sirius' mouth hung open, unsure of how to respond.

“You know what it’s been a long day, I’m going to bed goodnight.” She addressed coolly, stalking out her living room leaving a bewildered Sirius.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Similarly to the last few nights (Name) struggled to slip into the delicious sleep she craved. After scowling at her ceiling for a good hour she decided to get some fresh air. Exiting her bedroom she heard a strange noise. It sounded like choked Sobbing. Following the source of the noise she was led to her kitchen to find Sirius sat at the table head buried in his hands. His body convulsed as his lamentation was muffled. Her chest tightened at the sight of this poor broken man, she had never seen him cry. Perhaps a tear or two, but never this.

The creaking of the floorboards alerted Sirius. He yanked his fists from his face, head snapping upwards. His eyes were puffy and red, cheeks wet from salty tears. The posture of his body was rigid and straight indicating his humiliation of being caught crying.

“Could you leave me alone please?” He quietly begged her.

“Sirius it’s okay you don’t have to feel embarras-“

“(Name) you need to get out right now.” He warned lowly.

“Please I just want to make you feel better.” She softly informed him.

He wearily rubbed his temples. “Well you can’t do that okay! No one bloody can. Not unless you can somehow bring them back to life.” 

“I know exactly how you feel, how painful and overwhelming it all is.” Her eyes began to swell. “It’s normal to grieve when you loose people that were important to you, it shows just how much you loved them.”

“Look it’s all very well you saying that but it doesn’t change anything.” He snapped, standing up from the table.

“I’m not trying to dramatically change anything, I’m just trying to get you to see that you’re feelings are rational and nothing to feel shame over.” She placed a hand on his face, brushing her thumb over his cheekbone.

"Really?" He whispered.

"Yes, of course. It's going to be ok eventually I promise." She simpered. 

He swallowed hard."One day."

Her hand came to cup his face. "Exactly." She nodded.

.He leaned into her palm. "I'm sorry for shouting at you, I'm feeling a lot at the moment." 

"It's okay I understand. You're one of my favorite people you could never do anything to make me hate you." She softly beamed at him. "I feel like I really... care about you."

Sirius gave no response, his chest heaved wildly. A second of charged tension passed and before she could even comprehend what was happening she felt Sirius’ lips pressed to hers in an urgent needy kiss.

(Name) pushed him away, blinking. “What are you doing?!”

His eyes stared at her widely.

She brought her fingertips to her tingling lips. "Y-You.."

"I uh yeah." Sirius stammered his face equally as red as hers.

Her mouth opened and closed like a blubbering fish, she had no idea what to say. Her mind was in a thousand different places at once.

"Please say something. Literally anything." He panicked running a hand through his hair.

"I'm a little overwhelmed right now, but what I do know is that we can't. I'm sorry." She carefully explained.

“Oh fuck did you not want this.” Sirius groaned, shutting his eyes in annoyance with himself. "God I'm an utter twat." 

“No no I do! I mean last night I pretty much admitted to having feelings for you, it’s just…" She inhaled deeply. "If ‘this’ is going to happen I’d rather it wasn’t when you weren’t thinking clearly. I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

He visibly relaxed. "Oh that's good. I was afraid this was one sided."

"Trust me it's very much not one sided!" 

"I see you weren't immune to my charms then." He smirked, his usual confidence returning.

She let out a snort. "Hey I'm not the one who got all kissy a few seconds ago!" 

"Now you've said that you won't be getting these lips again." He joked.

"Please never say that ever again." She groaned before letting out a chuckle. "If someone were to ask me on a date then maybe I would let them kiss me again."

Sirius perked up slightly. “What if I offered to take you out sometime?” He offered.

“I’d really like that.” She admitted, smiling genuinely for the first time in a week.

“It’s a date.” He beamed, kissing the top of her head.

"You know what fuck waiting for the date, kiss me again now." She gently grabbed the collar of his shirt.

"That fine with me." He grinned dipping his head down and softly connecting their lips. She smiled into the kiss.

Although they wouldn’t feel better for many years, the process of healing could begin. And it could begin through the exploration of their feelings for one another. Love in times of desperation, light in darkness.


End file.
